I woke up to 70 degree weather in the middle of February.
My mood was excellent.
Yet, somewhere in between my walk to the journalism building and the ending of class, my mood shifted from sunshine and Daniel Caesar to irritation and no music. My soul was disturbed. My peace was off. An overwhelming feeling of no direction, stifled creativity, and a lost sense of self came across my mental as I sat in the lobby of my building.
An influx of tests in my courses, Delta Week, and the upcoming dance performance made these past two weeks hectic and overwhelming. Barely having time to eat, take a mid day nap, or read my devotional (Lord forgive me) I was stretched thin and made no time for my peace. I attempted to read a book, but couldn’t focus. I also attempted to write a blog post for thereignxy.com, an amazing blog that I encourage you all to check out, but my creativity was null and void, causing severe writer’s block that I could not shake.
The more I sat in reflection, the more I realized that I had no one to blame but myself. I made time for social media but skipped out on the time to harness my creativity and ease my mental. I made sure to “accidentally” bump into my crush in the student center but couldn’t purposely journal or read my devotional. I lost my peace. I define my peace as my drive and motivation to work my ass off in class, produce creative content, feed my spiritual being, and make time for Victoria. I was just going through the motions of the day. I wasn’t living, just surviving. I realized the rut I was lounging in and was in desperate need for escape.
As I placed all group messages and even individual threads on do not disturb, the weight of constant, superficial interaction was lifted. Unplugging from the virtual world every now and then is necessary. I then promised myself to spend more time working on the thousands of projects, blog posts, and internship applications that live on the sticky notes on my laptop screen. No longer would I remain stagnant. I vowed on January 1, 2018 that this year would be one of blossoming. I was not sticking to my word.
Yeah, we slip up from time to time. We find ourselves acting as robots, assimilating to the environment around us and losing our sense of self and peace. The important part is when you finally snap out of the trance and get back on your shit. Take some time to unplug and disconnect to reconnect back with yourself. Don’t get lost or trapped in the sauce. Be original and stay true to yourself. Stay blessed and protect your peace!
(thanks for the constant inspiration and guidance, you know who you are)