Somewhere between re-building my exterior and interior, I forgot to allot space for a soft surface that could feel the vibrations of compassion and emotion.
Constantly being pegged as overly sensitive, I’ve always yearned for the day that my eyes didn’t quiver and heartstrings were not strained from words that hit like boulders and actions that exploded like bombs. In efforts of hardening, I lost sight of my vulnerability.
Your vulnerable side does not mean you must wear your heart on your sleeve or forget Andre 3000’s teaching of keeping your heart three stacks. It does not mean that you automatically melt into a heap of emotions and ooze sorrows onto anybody that will listen. Vulnerability is the raw essence of your thoughts and feelings. It is not only defined as being in this state with others, but caters to the idea of being vulnerable with yourself. Speaking of vulnerability with others, you must be selective with who you let view this vulnerable side because the human ego does not take well to rejection, especially when exposing down to the white meat of your feelings.
I consider myself solid in foundation yet I’m still learning how to nurture and cultivate my vulnerable side. I solely believe that many times my world has ended solely due to the fact that I neglected being vulnerable with myself and honoring those raw emotions that inadvertently make up the outer shell of Victoria. The absence of vulnerability allows uncertainty, lies, and facades to pound the pavements of the asphalt roads you’ve built over your soft surface. That soft surface should feel like home. It should hold the answers to the questions regarding emotional insecurities that keep you up at night. It will comfort you when you are unsure of what to do or where to go next. Finding your inner vulnerability fosters an open place where the rivers of honesty and clarity combine, resulting in waterfalls plentiful with solutions and answers. You better understand why you feel a certain way towards someone or why you have been reacting strangely when old trauma is brought up. Fear will no longer be a cop out when it comes to communicating effectively with others and yourself about your feelings and inner most thoughts.
Tapping into this side is rough. It’s similar to the the playboy character not being able to physically say the word love. There might be tears of frustration or tears of relief from finally blowing the dust off something that has been hidden for a while. Reactions will vary but the results will be similar. Vulnerability, find it and nurture it.
Love and light,