Imagine never giving yourself credit for things you’ve done and convincing yourself that you’ve done absolutely nothing.
Well, that’s what kept me tossing and turning the other night. The lack of giving myself credit resulted in sleepless nights where I doubt my abilities, scare myself into thinking I’m never going to amount to anything, and overthink like no other.
It all makes sense why I’ve never been able to answer the question of “What’s your proudest accomplishment”. Within my years of living, I’ve fallen into a mindset that naming my proudest accomplishment or enjoying a moment of success will end in failure or complacency. I am so scared that if I take time to applaud myself, I will miss out on an opportunity. Somehow, taking time to be proud of my accomplishments will end with me losing my humility and never receiving another blessing. I’ve become so focused on reaching the next level that I’ve forgotten to enjoy the beauty of the level I’m currently stationed.
The idea of humility is also a huge problem. I’ve seen what’s happened to those who forget their beginnings and act like they are the hottest thing out. I’m terrified to come off as arrogant or cocky, but I’ve realized that naysayers will always peg you as those things when they envy your abilities and gifts. I am allowed to congratulate myself without fear of what the next person thinks. Hell, I worked my butt off and I have every right to speak on that. Acknowledgment does not mean you’ve lost humility, it means that you recognize your worth and are grateful for being able to achieve and win.
My inability to give myself flowers has created a toxic mindset that I am rapidly working to fix. I want to get to a place where I am able to acknowledge myself while still working towards what I want. I aspire to not be afraid of what tomorrow holds, instead holding onto the joy and triumphs of today and viewing them as little taste of what is yet to come. I’m setting the stage for what’s next but how do I expect that to be bright if I’m constantly diminishing my own light?
Congratulating, acknowledging, and applauding yourself is never wrong. Knowing that you have a gift, using that gift, and speaking on that gift is never wrong. If you don’t believe in your abilities, who will?
Of course, it’s easier said than done but this is worth the effort. Comparison is the devil and self doubt is it’s best friend and they both love trying to infiltrate my life. Yet, I must remember that I’m that bitch and I deserve credit and should be proud of my work.
Understand that you can do both. Acknowledge your accolades while also working to reach new heights. Give yourself the credit that you deserve.
Love and light,