To the Nola Darling in Us

We all have a little Nola Darling in us. It wasn’t until I watched Season 2 of She’s Gotta Have It that I realized we all have her braids and paint strokes somewhere within us. Some have tried to put her in a box and describe her in just one way but I see her as multi-faceted and I believe her character helps to awake parts of us that have been resting or parts that we’ve tucked away hoping no one would ever see.

We are all Nola Darling. 

We are fearless. Bold and tumbling through life using our mouths as bullhorns to protest all that is wrong and not backing down for anyone. Coming off as violent to those with skin differing from ours because they simply can’t begin to fathom that it’s deeper than a seat at the table. Or maybe we come off as militant and “too much” for our own who don’t understand that our shouting is real and necessary. Yet,we persist and go forth without fear but holding onto our faith that one day our efforts will make a difference.

We have been wrong. We’ve all made bad decisions that we knew were wrong when we made them but brushed them off because for once, it made the pain go away and it was something that felt good. We didn’t care who we hurt, we were just happy to be feeling a high for once. We have felt the consequences of being wrong and boy, did the fall hurt! The words we heard as result of our actions stung down to the white meat, leaving us embarrassed yet knowing we probably deserved every bit of it. It’s okay to be wrong and have your ego bruised for a moment. You will recover.

We are all healing. When you understand that your trauma never disappears, you learn how to better handle it and make it a piece of the puzzle of your life. No, it doesn’t define you but it plays a part in your story. You might use that trauma as fuel and let it propel you towards an endeavor or creative journey. You might use it to share with others in hopes that they too find their healing. But most importantly, you understand that healing never stops. It’s continuous. You find new levels and heights and enter them with an open mind.

We are evolving. Just as the world never stops moving, we never stop growing and sprouting into different versions of ourselves. We look back on our past and acknowledge the strides we’ve made to better ourselves and situation. We’ve matured and left childish ways behind. We’ve encountered new demons and hills, yet our wisdom and arsenal of ideas have provided us with ways to push through. Each day we find ourselves deconstructing old parts of us and replacing them with pieces that better fit who we are in that moment, yet still remembering our humble beginnings and not making excuses for them.

So yes, we all have a little of Nola Darling within us. Men included. We are unapologetically fearless. We have been tragically wrong. We are healing and finding new ways to unlock our peace. And most importantly, we are evolving into masterpieces that deserve to be displayed in a gallery. Remember, everyone may not like your masterpiece. Some will find it incredibly brilliant while others will turn their heads in disagreement and disgust. These differing views are simply opinions. What good is a piece that doesn’t provoke thought and conversation?

Go forth…and let your inner Nola Darling serve as a reminder of the beauty in complexity.

Love and light,



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